Chapter 12: A Feast on the Battlements
[DING! Extreme Confusion and Severe Hunger Detected! +15,000 Shock Points!] [Target Crown Prince Xiao Tian is experiencing profound cognitive dissonance!]
The entire Blood Cavalry, feared as the most ruthless butchers in the empire, completely lost their terrifying aura. Soldiers began to unconsciously drool inside their helmets. The demonic horses, smelling the fresh vegetables and lush green vines on the wall, strained against their bits, desperate to graze.
Xiao Tian gripped the railing of his chariot, his knuckles turning white. He squinted up at the battlements, trying to comprehend the sheer absurdity of the scene.
"Who dares mock the Crown Prince?!" he roared, his voice laced with the dark, suffocating energy of his blood-art. "I am here to execute the remnant of the old blood! Hand over the demonic witch who killed my assassins, or I will slaughter every living soul in this city!"
I laughed. The sound was bright, mocking, and utterly humiliating.
"Oh, brother," I sighed, standing up from my tiger-fur lounge. The setting sun caught the golden runes glowing faintly on my skin. "Don't tell me you don't recognize your favorite punching bag? You were the one who had my food poisoned to make me a drooling fool, after all."
Xiao Tian’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. He staggered back a step in his chariot. "You... Ah-Zhu? The Ye family's idiot maid? Impossible! The poison permanently destroyed your meridians! You couldn't even form a coherent sentence!"
"And yet," I said, gesturing grandly to the magnificent, terrifying, vine-covered fortress, "here I am. Speaking perfectly. And eating perfectly, too."
Ye Chen stood up beside me. The moment Xiao Tian saw him, the Crown Prince's face twisted with a mixture of shock and utter fury.
"Ye Chen!" Xiao Tian sneered, recovering his haughty composure. "You crippled dog! I shattered your knees with my own warhammer! How are you standing?! Have you sold your soul to this witch's illusions?!"
Ye Chen didn't flinch. He didn't cower. The traumatized boy was gone, replaced by a man standing at the side of a god. He looked down at the Crown Prince with absolute, chilling pity.
"I am standing because I serve the true Empress of this land," Ye Chen said smoothly. "And you, Xiao Tian, are nothing but a starving rat commanding a legion of corpses."
[DING! Supreme Face-Slapping Dialogue! Ye Chen has shattered the enemy's pride! +8,000 Shock Points!]
Xiao Tian’s face turned a violent shade of purple. The veins in his neck bulged. As a pampered, tyrannical royal, he had never been spoken to with such blatant disrespect, let alone by an exiled cripple and a supposedly brain-dead maid.
"Archers!" Xiao Tian shrieked, his voice cracking with hysteria. "Burn the city! Kill them all! Leave no one alive!"
Ten thousand archers stepped forward, drawing massive longbows. Their arrowheads were wrapped in oil-soaked rags, ignited by mages using flint-sparks. A terrifying sea of fire illuminated the dusk.
"Princess," Ye Chen murmured, stepping slightly in front of me to shield me, though he knew I didn't need it.
I just sighed, dipping another piece of beef into the spicy broth.
"They want to play with fire?" I asked lazily. "System. Purchase the 'Absolute Zero Lotus' and upgrade Water Mastery to Max."
[DING! 40,000 Shock Points Deducted! Water Elemental Mastery: MAX LEVEL.] [Deploying Absolute Zero Lotus!]
Xiao Tian brought his sword down. "FIRE!"
Ten thousand flaming arrows blotted out the sky, raining down toward us like a meteor shower of certain death.
I didn't even stand up. I just snapped my fingers.
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